<?php
// ====================== PARKED DOMAINS CONFIG ======================
// Add every new domain here. Super easy to maintain.
$host = strtolower(trim($_SERVER['HTTP_HOST'] ?? ''));
$domain = preg_replace('/^www\./i', '', $host); // strip www. automatically
$configs = [
'arksanity.com' => [
'title' => 'Arksanity Server',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/arksanity.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.65,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'Arksanity - ARK: Survival Evolved',
'og_description' => 'Dedicated Linux Server for the Popular Game ARK: Survival Evolved'
],
'brutalina.com' => [
'title' => 'Brutalina the Movie',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/brutalina.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'Brutalina the Movie | Too Violent For Your Therapist',
'og_description' => 'The bloodiest cinematic experience of the decade. So unhinged they almost cancelled it before filming started. Coming soonTM (probably).'
],
'compoundcomplex.com' => [
'title' => 'Compound Complex',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/compoundcomplex.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.60,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.75,
'og_title' => 'Compound Complex | Sentences That Make English Teachers Quit',
'og_description' => 'Grammar so convoluted even linguists need therapy. The only website that requires a flowchart to understand itself.'
],
'cybabes.org' => [
'title' => 'Cybabes Society',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/cybabes.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.55,
'og_title' => 'Cybabes | Your AI Waifus Are Finally Online (Fashionably 27 Years Late)',
'og_description' => 'Virtual girlfriends who reply... eventually. Better personalities than your ex. Zero emotional baggage (until the update).'
],
'cybocop.com' => [
'title' => 'Cybo Cop (TV Series)',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/cybocop.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.35,
'og_title' => 'Cybocop | Half Cop, Half Machine, All Existential Dread',
'og_description' => 'Policing the Internet one bad take at a time. Will arrest you for bad grammar and poor life choices.'
],
'dahlskebank.com' => [
'title' => 'Dahlske Bank',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/dahlskebank.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.65,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.25,
'og_title' => 'Dahlske Bank | Norwegian Banking With Questionable Ethics',
'og_description' => 'Where your money goes to die... slowly and with excellent customer service. Coming soon (after the next audit).'
],
'danieldahl.com' => [
'title' => 'Daniel Dahl',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/danieldahl.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.55,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.65,
'og_title' => 'Daniel Dahl | Professional Human, Amateur God',
'og_description' => 'Full-time professional at being Daniel Dahl. Part-time deity. 100% Norwegian chaos energy.'
],
'darkdictator.com' => [
'title' => 'The Dark Dictator',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/darkdictator.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.65,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'Dark Dictator | Yes We\'re The Villains And We\'re Honest About It',
'og_description' => 'Total world domination in progress. Please stand by. (Or else.)'
],
'fatalityfacilitator.com' => [
'title' => 'Fatality Facilitator',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/fatalityfacilitator.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.35,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.00,
'og_title' => 'Fatality Facilitator | Making Death Slightly More Convenient',
'og_description' => 'Professional help with your inevitable demise since 2005. Fast, discreet, and weirdly polite.'
],
'iliketomovie.com' => [
'title' => 'I Like To Movie',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/iliketomovie.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'I Like To Movie | I Don\'t Watch Films, I Mainline Them Like Heroin',
'og_description' => 'Terminal cinephilia. Entire personality is just obscure references and emotional damage. Coming soon (after my 47th rewatch of the same movie).'
],
'iliveagain.com' => [
'title' => 'I Live Again',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/iliveagain.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'I Live Again | Death Was A Phase',
'og_description' => 'Came back wrong on purpose. Twice as unhinged and three times as hot. Resurrection kink activated.'
],
'kennywang.com' => [
'title' => 'Kenny Wang',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/kennywang.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.65,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'Kenny Wang | 100% Real Human Person (Source: Dude Trust Me)',
'og_description' => 'Professional Wang. Amateur Kenny. Full-time identity theft victim of his own name.'
],
'kiande.com' => [
'title' => 'KiAnDe',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/kiande.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.50,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.50,
'og_title' => 'KiAnDe | Alien Queen In A Human Suit',
'og_description' => 'Xenomorph-coded but make it sexy. We\'re not saying we lay eggs... but we\'re not denying it either.'
],
'killingheat.com' => [
'title' => 'Killing Heat',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/killingheat.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.65,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.25,
'og_title' => 'Killing Heat | So Hot It Should Be Classified As A War Crime',
'og_description' => 'Global warming is just foreplay. This website will literally melt your face off.'
],
'marxisthunter.com' => [
'title' => 'Marxist Hunter',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/marxisthunter.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.50,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.30,
'og_title' => 'Marxist Hunter | From Each According To His Ability, To Each According To My 12-Gauge',
'og_description' => 'Licensed commie remover. Class consciousness? Nah. Class annihilation.'
],
'meatfetish.com' => [
'title' => 'Meat Fetish',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/meatfetish.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.45,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.20,
'og_title' => 'Meat Fetish | We Don\'t Eat The Meat... We Fuck It',
'og_description' => 'Carnivores with commitment issues. The only site where "raw dog" has a completely different meaning.'
],
'meatsex.org' => [
'title' => 'Meat Sex',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/meatsex.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.45,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.30,
'og_title' => 'Meatsex | Where The Sausage Party Gets Extremely Literal',
'og_description' => 'Not safe for vegetarians. Not safe for vegans. Not safe for anyone with a functioning moral compass.'
],
'meloslave.com' => [
'title' => 'Meloslave',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/meloslave.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.75,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.25,
'og_title' => 'Meloslave | Submit To The Beat And Call Me Master',
'og_description' => 'BDSM but the safe word is lo-fi beats to cry and obey to. Melancholy never sounded so submissive.'
],
'reservedekk.no' => [
'title' => 'Reservedekk',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/reservedekk.png',
'bg_opacity' => 0.55,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.20,
'og_title' => 'Reserved Ekk | Norwegian For "Emotionally Constipated By Choice"',
'og_description' => 'We don\'t do feelings. We do long awkward silences and passive-aggressive "hei". Peak Scandinavian dysfunction.'
],
'zombiefetish.com' => [
'title' => 'Zombie Fetish',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '/img/zombiefetish.jpg',
'bg_opacity' => 0.35,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.00,
'og_title' => 'Zombie Fetish | Cold Dead Flesh Is My Love Language',
'og_description' => 'Brains are overrated. Give us rigor mortis and that sweet post-mortem drip. Necrophilia with extra steps.'
],
];
$settings = $configs[$domain] ?? [
'title' => 'Coming Soon',
'ga_id' => '',
'background_image' => '',
'bg_opacity' => 0.50,
'overlay_opacity' => 0.35,
'og_title' => 'Coming Soon',
'og_description' => 'D-FAULT PARKED'
];
